Another Awkward Interaction

On the subject of interactions with homeless folks, a couple weekends ago I was walking in Old Town Pasadena, trying to get through a long list of errands, when an older African American homeless man sitting by the sidewalk called out to me. I stopped reluctantly and he asked me if I might be able to buy him something to eat. I said sure, and he asked for a meal from the food establishment across the street, so I said that I'd go get it and be back. As I walked away, I was thinking to myself, "Dang it, God! If Jesus was here he'd take the food back and sit with that gentleman and talk to him. But I'm busy!" Then the man called out to me, "Do you know the Lord?" "Yes," I said. "Then come back here and talk to me after you get the food." (Shoot!) "Ok," I called back.

So I bought the food and took it back to him and sat down. We actually ended up having a pretty good conversation. He told me about his story of becoming homeless (which I took with a grain of salt, since some folks get good at coming up with stories in order to survive). He told me about how much he hates his father, and I told him that no matter what horrible things people have done to us, if we hang onto hate, it's only going to hurt ourselves, but that forgiveness is really the only way to be released from that.

Unfortunately, towards the end of the conversation, he was insistent on asking me for money. I looked at him and I told him, 'You just finished telling me all about your struggles with drugs and alcohol! Because I care about you, I am not going to give you money.' (being in the serving homelessness business, I also knew about several options in town for folks to find free food, so this gave me more backbone) And I stuck firmly to that, even though he didn't stop asking me. Once he gave up on that, then he wanted me to commit to a day and time when I'd come visit him again. This idea made me kind of uncomfortable, so I wouldn't do that either. He was pretty disappointed by that, but I told him I would try to come by some other time and see him, I just couldn't give him a day and time. And then I left.

As I was reflecting back over our conversation later, I think that good parts of our conversation including spending a lot of time allowing him to be listened to and that it was also good to feel boldly empowered to speak a few morsels of truth into his life. But as I reflected, I felt more and more uncomfortable about him, especially in regard to sex and gender. Even though he's a generation older than me, he kept making comments throughout our conversation that made me very uncomfortable, for instance telling me multiple times how much he likes white women, saying that I would be too much for him in bed--and then trying to reassure me that he wasn't hitting on me!!, saying that he is good in bed, etc. Ewww. I know that he's a man dealing with his own sin and mess, just like the rest of us, but I don't like it when his mess affects me.

So now I feel very stuck. I really don't want to see him or interact with him (actually, I confess I've gone out of my way to avoid the area when I met him last), but I also feel like I should keep my word and at least try to go by and find him at least one time. But definitely not by myself. Any wise thoughts on this one? And anyone want to keep me company if I do go by there again?