Some days I am beginning to wonder if grown-up life is all about commitments. I committed to a collage for four years. Then I committed to the Servant Partners internship for two years. Now that the internship is coming to an end, and I am looking at other organizations that I might want to work with overseas, they all seem to require some kind of 2-5 year commitment. I'm currently thinking about a rooming situation with someone that would require committing to staying in Pasadena a year. And marriage and kids, both future hopes, are both lifelong commitments.
I am feeling a little commitment-phobic coming out of the internship. Maybe it's because I like to be sure when I commit to something, especially when it involves multiple years of my life. And I feel like there are so many pieces of my life and what I want that I don't have clarity about right now. Is it ok to have stages in one's adult life with minimal commitments and a lot of freedom to explore? Or is adulthood just a series of transitions from one commitment to another?
Should I take some time and space to be uncommitted, or is that simply creating dead space in my life and refusing to engage with reality? Am I simply burned out from the internship or is this the emergence of some kind of latent third culture kid issue about being unable to be decisive, commit, and settle down for fear of whatever other options may be closed off by doing so? Sigh.
2 comments:
That is a very interesting question... Is it okay to not commit yourself? Well, you're not the only person who's struggled with that, given the choices some people make. I'll have to think about this one!
-Vanessa
yes, take a break. God says to give cheerfully and with joy. That's not just money, but our time. I think in a perfect world, our commitments should bring us life and not suck the life out of us. I believe God has that for you, but if you don't want to commit to some things right now, I'd say don't feel bad about it.
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