Community

As our Servant Partners class prepares for the start of our year long study of the biblical book of Acts, we have been taking the better part of this week to fast and meditate on what it means to be in community with each other. Fasting for each person looks different--some are eating only vegetables, some rice, some are fasting from non-food related things--but the common goal is the same. Here are some quotes that have struck me as I have reflected on what community is supposed to be and how I fit into that...

"A lot of people ask us about living all together. And it's easy to sum it up in one word that properly describes community--and that's forgiveness. Forgiving each other for leaving the garbage in the hall, for your kid swatting another kid--or you play music too loud or I don't like the meal. At the heart of community is forgiveness. That's what has changed me the most--learning to be gracious, humble, to be merciful. It's a touch of heaven, if you will, in a broken world." Tim Bock, business manager for Jesus People USA

"The mission of a community is to give life to others--that is to say, to transmit new hope and new meaning to them. Mission is revealing to others their fundamental beauty, value, and importance in the universe; their capacity to love, to grow, and to do beautiful things and to meet God." Jean Vanier, founder of L'Arche communities for developmentally disabled individuals & their caretakers

"Therefore, if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." Apostle Paul, writing in Philippians 1:1-4

A Glimmer of Patriotism Emerges

I have been accused of being very unpatriotic, but Jaroenrattanatarakoon P. has won gold for Thailand in the women's 53kg and I am proud! :)

Most of Thailand's medals have been in boxing, with taekwando and weightlifting adding to the total. I remember 2004 was an exciting year because Thailand took EIGHT medals in the Olympics, including 3 golds!

Still crossing my fingers to see if we win any more in these Games!

Quotes that Catch my Eye

"When you are doing the work of ministering to people, it is not your job to change anyone, only God can do that, your job is to be a connector. You introduce them to God and let them get to know each other. Our assignment is simply to hold God's people with our hands open, with all of their hopes, dreams, faults, fears, pain, and doubts. You hold them with your hands open, and the moment you try to close your hands and mold them into what you think they should be, you are going too far."

Reflections on the Serenity Prayer

My supervisor recently posted this by her desk:

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference

In the midst of work crazyness, for my own sanity I've come up with some reflections inspired by this prayer...

I cannot change that someone has been given the run around by social agencies all over L.A.
I CAN help them figure out if they qualify for services here.

I cannot change a client's situation if they do not qualify for services here.
I CAN refer them to the 211 info line for other options in L.A.

I cannot make other agencies have room to take a client when they are full.
I CAN take a deep breath and let that weight slide off my shoulders instead of carrying it.
I CAN continue to develop my list of agencies to call so that I have more options to try.

I cannot stop clients from yelling at me or staff from expressing frustration with me.
I CAN choose to respond with calm and grace.
I CAN seek to live in peace with all people, so far as it is possible.
I CAN apologize when I actually made a mistake or didn't understand how to do something.
I CAN refuse to carry the weight of their words with me for the rest of the day.

Under Pressure

This has been a rough last month. I started my new job in June and it's proving to be a better fit for me than data entry, but very stressful. To work with homeless folks is to be constantly dealing with people in crisis. When I first started here, one of my coworkers told me that everyone who comes seeking our services feels like they are in a state of emergency, but that as staff, we cannot allow their emergencies to become our emergencies or we'll burn out. I haven't learned how to do this yet. When I call all of the places I can think of and I can't find housing for someone, and I know that they are going to have to sleep on the street or in their car that night, it's distressing. Just yesterday, another of my coworkers said to me: "Jenny, you care too much. You do all that you can do, and then you have to let it go."

Despite how hard it is, I think that this is a very necessary skill for anyone contemplating working longer term with the poor. If I end up working with individuals in the sex trade or in other exploitative and oppressive situations, I am going to have to learn to do what I can do, and then let it go into the hands of Jesus. But oh! it is so hard trying to learn to do this. I feel like my soul is being beaten up every day and is having a hard time bouncing back after each assault.

Because work has been so stressful and I've also been very tired, it's put a lot of stress on home life as well. I love my roommate to pieces and I am so grateful to be rooming with her; she's taught me so much and been such a blessing over this last year. But when we are both tired and stressed out, our naturally different communication styles become a source of misunderstanding and hurt feelings, which quickly deteriorates into a downward cycle. We had a good reconciliation conversation the other day and prayed together, but I know it's still going to take work, to take choosing to assume the best and not be offended, to choose to respond with love instead of impatience and hard words.

Yet even as home has been a place of struggle as well, I am thankful to be going through this. Coming to the end of myself is making me realize how little ability to love I have and how much I need God to come in and be sufficient in my insufficiency. I'd rather find out how little love I have so that I can grow than to be comfortable and never pressed to love when it's hard and to think that I'm so great at it.

Pictures!

Time for a couple of pictures! I'm not posting any of the junior high girls, to guard their privacy on the internet, but here's a picture of me, my roommate Diamante, and our mentor Michele:And here's a picture of our group of five now second-year interns in Pasadena. We have dinners together a couple times a month, game nights together, and of course, make all those long weekly drives to south L.A. together. Right now we are missing Rex, our friend on the left, as he is in Hawaii taking care of his parents for health reasons right now:
And I love this last picture because the women in our intern class are always making jokes about how affectionate the guys in our class are with each other, to the point that it sometimes becomes uncomfortable. We were just being silly here, but it cracks me up...